I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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