its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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