I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
