he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
