I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
