I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
