So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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