She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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