he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
