I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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