I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
