Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
