Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
