hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
