A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
