Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
