White coat. Heels.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
