do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
