Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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