She's JV to your varsity
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
