u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My ATM looks so different sober.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
