She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
