I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
