Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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