So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
