The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i barfeds in our rink
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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