i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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