Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
