i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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