It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
