Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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