I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
