I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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