Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
