She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
