Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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