tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
