That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You are a genius and a whore.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
