sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
