I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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