I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
