I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
