it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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