i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Boobs are out for the taking
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
