i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
