we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
