Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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