I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
