covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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