so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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