goodnight i made you a song goodbye
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
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