It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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